she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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