i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
She's the barista slut.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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