Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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