It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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