WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
