Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
