i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
