i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize