hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
