hotel room ftw
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
