try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
