thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize