I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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