you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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