dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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