If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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