isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's official drugs can't kill me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
