He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
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Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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