look no pants
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
