I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
