its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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