no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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