I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize