i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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