U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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