Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
