he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
