there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
