did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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