I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
