I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize