He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
