I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
