That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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