He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
