I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
