You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
