Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
