I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
