they need to just BURY HIM!
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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