tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
The struggles of a small town man whore
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
