no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
