How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
