that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
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Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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