I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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