Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You were trust falling into bushes
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
