Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I don't deserve a penis
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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