Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You work out of a Hotel?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
