Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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