Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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