oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize