You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
