I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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