walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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