saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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