Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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