3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
