i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
