Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
false alarm. still invincible.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
