She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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