I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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