I could have mohawked her pubes.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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