it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
