there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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