Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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