i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
