i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize