But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
